Here is your daily reminder to vote for me:
http://thesupermom.org/2023/betsy-larrabee
And if you aren’t sure what that means, you can review yesterday blog post here.
You can vote *every day* through April 13th. Do work.
I have a long to-do list today so there is no time to ramble. I would like to tell you a little story.
Easter of 2021 found us divided between Philadelphia and Longmont. Beau and I were two weeks in to the isolation that is CAR T therapy in a new city, and Joshua, Jude, and Selah were making a way back home. I had the foresight to pack my suitcase with Easter basket items for Beau and to order Easter basket items for J&S, for Joshua to put into baskets at home. I left a long list of instructions on the matter and discussed it ad nauseam with Joshua, because, my God, what better to cling to in chaos than these trivialities.
Your child may die of cancer. Right, BUT DID THE EASTER BUNNY PUT THE RIGHT TOY IN THE RIGHT BASKET!!!!!!!!!!!!
To make a long story, tolerable: Joshua forgot to put the baskets out Easter morning. Jude woke-up in pure distress. At surface, bc the Easter bunny hadn’t come, but at it’s core because was NOT EVERYTHING FALLING APART? Thinking fast, Joshua got the baskets ready while the kids watched tv and put them in the garage. Then had our neighbor get them from the garage, put them on the front porch, and doorbell ditch us. Jude and Selah went to answer the door, none the wiser, and their jaws fell to the floor.
THE EASTER BUNNY HAD COME!!!!
THE EASTER BUNNY HAD NOT FORGOTTEN THEM AFTER ALL!!!!!!
All is well that ends well. Or that is the mantra I have tried my best to cling to during the pediatric cancer process. But if you want the inside scoop: I was pissed at Joshua over the event.
I LEAVE YOU WITH ONE TASK! I fumed.
Which was dumb because sure I had left him with one Easter morning task, but had we not both been left with an entire life that neither of us could handle? Had we not both been spending the last two weeks, but really the previous 2 years, trying desperately to just stay the fuck afloat?
It reminds me of the week after Selah was born. We were swimming in the haze that is life with a brand new baby and two preschoolers. Everything was a blur. And then, Beau lost his first tooth. A big deal for him, but also a big deal for us because it was our first foray into being, well, a tooth fairy. So, sleep-deprived and covered in drool, I concocted a master plan. A hand written note, sprinkles under the pillow, a shiny Susan B. Anthony coin. We talked it up, exciting Beau about the rite of passage ahead of him. And then I went to bed. I gave Joshua specific instrucitons to place the letter from Sparkle Sweet Heart (yes, that’s our tooth fairy’s name.) before he, himself, fell asleep.
And he forgot.
So we woke to the worried cries of Beaudin who was sure that not only had the tooth fairy not come, but the tooth fairy would never be coming!
And my gut cried with the same feeling, “I leave you with one task!”
Which was dumb because sure I had left him with one tooth fairy task, but had we not both been left with an entire life that neither of us could handle?
There are many morals to this story, but I will draw attention to two.
When we get thrown in over our heads, it can be instinctive to point out how the people around us- usually our spouse- isn’t doing it right and if they would just do the thing, everything would be fine! It doesn’t acknowledge their entire inner-world, their purposes, their concerns, their circumstances. It plops you right at the center of the story, as the heroine, who if not for the other people in her life, could execute every single last freaking thing PERFECTLY.
It’s a big fat lie. An attractive one for the ego, but still, a lie. Moving away from this lie has been a great work for me and I must say, even retelling the story reminds me how far I have come from it. Joshua is no the best Sparkle Sweet Heart, but he blows me out of the water in many other parenting ways.
Second moral, the best traditions often come from the rubble.
This morning at preschool drop-off Selah was telling Ms. Peggy about Easter. Ms. Peggy asked what Easter entailed for our family. Selah told her that there was food, and chocolate, and Easter eggs.
“But Ms. Peggy. Guess What….” her voice getting very serious as she slowed her explanation, “…The Easter bunny puts our baskets on OUR porch and RINGS OUR DOORBELL!!!!!!!!!” Selah let her mouth hang open to set the tone of amazement.
Ms. Peggy offered a very appropriate, “Oh, wow! The doorbell!”
“Yes! The doorbell!!!!” Selah declared, smiling from ear to ear.
Speaking of Easter, if you see one of these at Target- BUT IT. It’s amazing and loved by all. If you order it today it says it will arrive (Prime) by Sunday, but given that is Easter, you may have to just hope you can find one at Target, IRL .
Last year, my dad was here before Easter and hours were spent on this bad boy.
The Heavy Wait 
Happy Easter!
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