We are back from our one-month Pacific Northwest extravaganza. It was everything we hoped it would be, probably more. But above all the hyperbole, it was truly the break we needed. It was the first time in, well, 3.5 years, when the time I spent thinking about cancer was less than the time I didn't… Continue reading Doing the Damn Thing.
Category: Relapse
Dear Beau, on the day of your port removal,
Dear Beau, Last night you scored the winning run of your baseball game. I cried hot tears as you ran across home plate and into the dugout where your teammates crowded around you, everyone estatic. You struck out earlier in the game and were so down on yourself. The game had been a nail biter… Continue reading Dear Beau, on the day of your port removal,
Beau’s cancer story
A overview of Beadin's cancer journey for new readers.
Same Island, Less Denial
Our trip to Captiva, November 2021. Denial Island hit different this year. Last year we packed up and fled to denial island days after hearing that Beau had most likely relapsed and that we would be spending 28-days inpatient starting December 6th. There is nothing like the threat of a monthlong inpatient hospital stay to… Continue reading Same Island, Less Denial
The dentist and the ram.
I hadn't expected to cry while cooking up lunch yesterday. I guess if I am honest the feeling, the hot tears, are always only a couple of thoughts away. Like the other day at Ozo when I heard the gentleman tell the mom of two young kids, “I know it’s cliche, but it really does… Continue reading The dentist and the ram.
A supportive kitchen floor and a shopping spree.
After posting my dark room post a dear cancer mama friend asked how I was doing with the one year anniversary of Beau's relapse coming up. At the moment, fresh off a productive writing session and post publication, I was feeling fine. But the audible pause before I answered her led me to wonder how… Continue reading A supportive kitchen floor and a shopping spree.
Canaries in September.
Each September the info graphics start flooding my Facebook feed. As though they finally have an excuse to scream these statistics at the top of their lungs, all my cancer mom friends fill their pages with data on childhood cancer that everyone needs to know. I'm looking at you Jess McKearney, you have brought some… Continue reading Canaries in September.
Three doctors walk into a bar: second T-cell collection
Last week Beaudin had his t-cell apheresis completed locally at our hospital in Denver. Beau had his cell collected. He rocked it. He said the PowerWand line placement was a 2 on the 1-10 pain scale. Which says a lot about how damn brave he is, and also a lot about how lucky we are… Continue reading Three doctors walk into a bar: second T-cell collection
Survival rates and percentage math.
When your child is diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia you hear that it's the "good" cancer in that it's EFS (event free survival) is upwards of 94%. And that helps you find some footing in the sinking sand because in what world could you fall in to that 6% of kids. You already got the… Continue reading Survival rates and percentage math.
“Sorry,” is the first step, then “How can I help?”
Unfortunately, in the last couple months two acquaintances have reached out with the same question, "Someone close to me has just found out their child has cancer. What do I do? What do I say? How can I support them?" This is what you can do. Establish Rank & File Understand who the front line… Continue reading “Sorry,” is the first step, then “How can I help?”
The Heavy Wait 