I just spent 128 minutes on the customer service chat feature of the Grub Hub app trying to figure out why Joshua can’t access my account from his phone. I wouldn’t consider myself a technological wizard by any means, but I can generally comprehend the basic workings of a website/app and thus the 128 minutes were particularly painful as I circled the same few data points through multiple customer service reps and many language barriers. By the end of things and by that I mean after I wrote, “I am again asking, BEGGING THIS TIME!, that you to transfer me to a manger.” said manager told me in about 43 seconds that the gift cards couldn’t be accessed unless Joshua signed in to my Apple ID in his iPhone settings, uninstalled the app, reinstalled the app and then logged-in using the third party Apple log-in functionality and did this each time he wanted to use the app.
128 minutes for an answer that felt cumbersome and stupid. So instead, Joshua will send me their order and I will order it from my phone because why not.
I logged off the chat and felt so annoyed. I opened Instagram and mindlessly scrolled for a minute before coming across a video of a woman without arms and only one leg applying a full face of make-up. I am confused by the Instagram algorithm, but there I was, watching it. I thought about the thing I had heard on a recent podcast that we consume as much in 30 minutes as our grandparents did in 30 days and I felt tired.
2 hours on GrubHub chat talking with someone with broken English somewhere around the world about a third-party encryption of a password so my husband couldn’t order food half way across the country for he and our son, followed by a make-up video by a woman with only one limb. What is this life? My brain felt a frenzy.
Sometimes I really wonder how we are spending our time as a human race. I watched the video and thought, “This content is bizarre!” followed closely by, “I am glad we live in a time where these people have representation, where they can see themselves as beauty bloggers.” followed by, “what am I doing with my life…..” And then I just laid down on my bedroom floor and looked over at my new Peleton taunting me to engage.
I decided I needed to get up and use it. I turned it on and searched for a yoga class. I did spin classes yesterday and the day before and if I know anything about myself, I will never return to a work-out that is too tiresome, so I felt like yoga on day 3 would be perfect. I saw one entitled “Justin Bieber, 20 minute yoga.” I enjoy the Bieb’s music, so I started the class. The instructor introduced himself and said the class would be 20 minutes of yoga interspersed with biographical insight on Justin.
Huh? No. Why. WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT BIOGRAPHICAL INSIGHT ON JUSTIN!!!!!!
I decided that none of this was in the cards and came to the kitchen and opened my laptop. I have approximately 8 minutes before Selah wakes-up from her nap and instead of Instagram or Bieber Peleton I decided I am going to type up a list of things I am grateful for.
- A nanny who puts Selah down for a nap with ease.
- A nanny who is flexible with her schedule as things change.
- The intensely prickly bubbles of a freshly opened LaCroix.
- Our silly dog who is currently chasing a plastic cup around the kitchen floor, propelled by his own snaps at it.
- My new laptop.
- Jude’s request that Meemaw pick him up from school so he can plan my birthday party for tomorrow.
- Knowing that he only wants to do that so he can enjoy cake.
- Having a washing machine that can handle a huge load of laundry (unlike our Philly apartment mini unit).
- Driving down the streets and knowing exactly where I was at every single moment.
- Playing Beam-o with Jude this morning before school and still not being late! Thank you 9:10am start.
- A couple friends who are relentlessly trying to spend time with me while I am home this week.
- How smooth my lips feel after being super chapped this last week.
- The freshly brewed tea on the counter.
- The pictures from Beau’s birthday celebration (In Philly).
- The male and female bird couple that nibbled from the bird feeder at dinner last night while Selah and I watched.
- The dog door Joshua installed.
- Hatchet using the dog door 158 times an hour to ensure he is never missing anything.
- The 187 dog toys strewn throughout our back yard.
- My excitement over waking Selah up from her nap in a couple minutes and the inevitably cute thing she will say that will be something along the lines of, “Mama, you came back.”
- The funny way Selah whispers “It’s a secret!” anytime I mention my peloton bike.
- My Peleton bike!!!! A gift from Joshua for my 35th birthday!!!
- The cute short sleeve button-up shirt Joshua wore in the aforementioned picture from Beaudin’s birthday.
- Southwest airlines. Changed out flight from Thursday to Friday for zero dollars.
- Southwest Airlines for everything about them.
- Jude’s toothy grin after he pulled out his front tooth.
- The fact my kids pull out their own teeth and I don’t have to have anything to do with something so gross.
- That I have nailed the tooth fairy gig.
That’s all. Time to wake-up the baby. Thanks for reading along. May you be filled with lists of gratitude and never have to encounter the Grub Hub customer service chat functionality.